News flashes

May 14, 2013

First: The Onion is hiring. If you think, as we do, that the world needs more humor, here’s your chance. From Stan Zin, who may be your competition: All candidates must fulfill the following requirements:

  1. A viewing of our new pilot, Onion News Empire
  2. A review posted on Amazon (linked to in application)
  3. Three (3) reasons why the candidate is qualified for the position (either on resume, cover letter, or attached as a separate document)

If interested, please apply here: http://bit.ly/12jfFLA

Second: Billie Sol Estes has died. His connection to Global Economy fans and survivors: he collected millions in bogus cotton subsidies. I’m sure he’d laugh at the deal the US struck to pay off Brazilian cotton growers, too. If them, why not him?

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